14th October, barely 3 weeks ago, my heart broke. I feel at this rate, my heart looks like a ceramic ornament that has been glued back together within an inch of its life. Its a miracle its still beating this tattered heart of mine.

But the thing about a broken heart, is the scars make it harder, rougher, worn. Like your hands after years of using them to work. I really miss you Thomas, my life is not the same without you. When i need to talk to someone, you are the first person who comes to mind. Like now, so so so much is going on. I would LOVE to share with you. Although, sometimes i felt that you did not share my excitement or less than excitement over the stuff i was going through. But still, its always nice to have someone you can talk to.

Much as my heart is lighter, because the fights are over, the bitterness the anger, all gone. Its still a little heavy because, we shared a life i think. We went through stuff together, good and bad. The upside of being in a relationship is that you always have someone who will listen to you. I don’t know if i was that for you. I’m still not sure what i brought to the table for you.

Sometimes i single mindedly focused on the bit that was not working in the relationship, like the lack of commitment. I know that one is a biggie. It will always be. But i should not have let it overshadow everything. Even the good stuff. If i could do it again, i know exactly what i would do different. I pray everyday for you. I love you, always will. ❤