This past weekend was father’s day. I wasn’t aware of either mother’s nor father’s day until was well into mom-hood. I cannot recall when exactly i became aware of it but i can tell you, its recent. Probably the last 5 years or so.

My Dad, the 1st love of my life, passed away some 5 years ago this year. I miss him, some days more than others. It feels like my insides have been turned inside out and i’m cold. I am so grateful for the guy he was, the steadfast love, the opinionated man, the gruff demeanor, the sarcastic tone when he was irritated. We lost our Mom a while back, we never got to experience her in our adulthood. We had him for that, every step of the way. So today i decided i will write a series of letters to him. What i would have wanted him to know. Family updates et al.

Dear Daddy

Where to start. Sometimes i get upset at doctors. They are responsible for this, I will never trust a doctor, half the time they have no idea what they are doing. Its like our IT guys, trial and error all the time with our lives. Unfortunately, they tried and errored and it cost us you.

Daddy, i’ll give you an update, and it might sound disjointed, and timelines will not align with the stories because i’ll be writing as i feel. I know it will make sense to you.

I got a muhindi gig a couple years ago….Jehovah, and i thought the muhindi’s from India were nuts. This one was drug addled kenyan nuhindi with a british superiority. He was a terrible human. Anyway, i was looking for money for school fees and for paying off our loans, so i put up with him for almost 2 years. Finally a retrenchment came and i was first on that list. The severence wasnt too bad. I managed to pay school fees and Bobo and I traveled to the US. Stayed for 2 months. Got to see where you use to hang out, where you lived, where you slept, i even saw some of your old stuff. Kare has been unable to get rid of them, and i can’t blame her. I still have some of your stuff neatly tucked away in one of the suitcases you came with.

I loved every minute of that trip. It was the reset i didn’t know i needed. I saw Stone wetu..Jesus that boy has your demeanour. He gets irritated by tardiness the same way you did, he barks at people the same way, hurries people out of the door….Jehovah. It was jarring to see that boy after 20 years. Amazed at the same time at the man he has become.

I finished the house. The one that you were supposed to build for me. Its a cozy 3 bed that has a bit of a modern touch with rustic feel. I think you’d love it. Doesn’t have a fire place though so Githumu during the cold season is out. Either that or we carry a heater. Or have one of the boys make a jiko for us.

Let me leave it there for now. I really do miss you Dad. We all do. Say hey to Mom.